Your element is Water. You have a calm aura around you and are in tune with the world around. You observe it but rarely interfere. Because of your shy and timid nature you will not have so many friends in your life. But then again, large crowds aren't your thing anyway. You are comfortable on your own and are reserved to others who you don't know or know very little of. You know everyone out there does not want to be your friend, and knowing that is good. However, people who don't know you that well thinks that you are cold and distant since you don't want to talk to them. Although you mean no harm, you can't always be perfectly understood in the world. No one can. Life in general are you quite serene with even if there are some things you don't like. Your love-life is not so full of boys/girls, but if you flirted more with the ones you were interested in I'm sure something would happen. The hobbies you choose are calmer ones, you are no party girl that likes to drink and make-out with three or more guys/girls in one night. Reading a book or swimming (!i dont know how to swim!) is more your thing.

In your eyes, people see life... You see yourself as just an average person! You enjoy life, love wildlife, but also enjoy time with those who<br>know you best. You like to get outdoors and let your mind wander over all of the mysteries god gave to you. You don't really have a certain sanctuary because you're so well-rounded, but you like having fun and adventures, but can also be found sitting quietly about, reading a book. You have a pretty good life ahead of you, never trade it for anything else :)

You are a dark girl. You have a really quiet and really a i dont' care attitude. You like to be alone and that is what you enjoy. You don't like to be around others and you'd rather be away from here. You have a get away from me look and others find you bitchy and self-rigious. You'd rather read than be at a fair but that's ok because that's who you are.

You want a sweet guy. Who'ld take you anywhere. Like Japan!!! Wow I would like a guy like that too:) Also he looks so cute in japanese clothing:)

The Goddess of Ice and Hope. You are a creative wonder. Always calm and collected, you hold the awe of many people and you are exceptionally logical. You are an inspirational beauty.

<br>The intelligent loner. You're shy<br>at times but friendly, and you are never weak<br>and always independent. You are incredibly<br>intel ligent (wise beyond your years) and have a<br>talent for many things (sports, music, art).<br>You have a kind and warm personality and enjoy<br>the simple things. Like hanging out with<br>friends and watching movies at home. But you're<br>sometimes quiet nature makes you a bit of an<br>outcast and a mystery to people. No matter how<br>pretty you are or smart or athletic, you just<br>can't seem to break into the crowd and be<br>noticed. Don't worry, try to be more outgoing<br>and speak out when you have more to say. Don't<br>hide behind your books and sports and computer,<br>get out there and get noticed. You also have<br>deep desires in life and feel vunerable and<br>alone at times. Don't feel sad either, What<br>helps me to express feelings and dreams that I<br>can't say to people, is through my writting.<br>Maybe you should try.

You kill for revenge.

That is because you have lost something or
someone you held very dear. Now you can't seem
to get over the loss that marked your soul, and
the only solution is to go after the one person
who brought all this pain to you. Chances are
you are angry inside and you bottle everything
up and don't talk to anyone about it. People
may want to help, but you think that they can
never understand your pain and only get
frustrated because of this. But it is important
to see all that you have left and be thankful
of that even if you have lost something great.
It may not be true that Times heals all wounds,
but with time and talking about your feelings,
maybe the hurt will ease.

Main weapon: Yourself

Quote: "You can close your eyes to
reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec

Facial expression: Gritted teeth and teary eyes

he's outta my life..

he used to send me poems.. said he composed them himself..

im flattered.. he asked me to compose a poem for him..

i cant compose a poem..

or should i say.. i can no longer compose a poem.. yEA.. thATs more precise..

no inspiration..

no lover-friend... (why? hes always telling me he love me.. he'll always love me.. i dont know if i should i believe him.. oh well.. whether i believed him or not.. it doesnt matter anymore.. he's gone now..)

how can i compose a poem without that two?

he's right.. im hopeless..

tonight.. we parted ways.. i told him about the cancer and he didnt believe me.. thank heavens he didnt..

i blocked his username and deleted it in my msn messenger and yahoo messenger.. i was planning to delete the msn messenger too but this is not my computer so i have no right to delete anything..

i told him about the guy (5758).. and i also told him that i still loved that bastard.. but honestly? no.. those days are all over now..

how could i let this happen? this is what im avoiding... all these years.. im trying mighty hard not to fall for someone i can never have.. its like reaching for a star! damn damn damn and double damn!.. ive been right all along.. this is one hell of a guy and he possessed good qualities.. and above all.. dangerous..

i just wanted to be his friend and thats all.. but things suddenly changed and my feelings juz.. uhm.. grow.. this not the first time he said "goodbye will never talk to u ever again".. this is like uHm.. lemme thinK.. the.. third time.. forgetting him would be definitely the hardest thing to do.. there are things around me that will always remind me of him.. like the spywares installed on my computer.. and my father's favorite.. spyblaster..

i was crying since the time he said "yesterday it was breast cancer.. and what will it be today? bone cancer?.. not actually the exact words but sounds just like that.. i was crying soo hard i think i'll be dehydrated.. i dont know why things like this happen to weak people like me.. i juz cant get it.. god gave me short life.. he took away the only person who can make my day brighter than the sun.. im having sleepless night just to be with him.. to talk to him.. he's a genius i can tell ya..

he's right.. we're not meant to be.. how i wish i didnt fall for him so hard i dont wanna let him go.. but we're miles apart and im still too young to think of serious relationship..

im tired.. and i want to sleep.. im praying hard that tomorow i'll think of these as only a dream and jonathan is not a reality.. he doensnt exist.. in cyberspace or in real world.. he's only a fantasy..

god help me.. please help me.. naattached ako mashado sa taong yun..